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One winter, one spring

by Fireworks Night

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1.
04:12
Settle down Let all the dogs run into the night Let the stars stick in your eye You do deserve the silence I love you still For the stutter in your step For the splinters in your side And as the world falls back to violence I can sit here quiet a while And smile How strange to be alive To love a body When bodies are breaking all around To love a mind When mine cannot describe Even your right leg Your small left hand Unconsciously Playing in your lap Your belly laughs Your fitful sleeps How you concentrate How you nod your feet To a favourite song I wish I knew the sort That sent your red coat Spinning down Cheyne Walk Can a heaven know? Can a heaven be? That could give to you What you’ve shown to me And maybe it’s not time to spill This stuff into your ear But curse this stiff propriety And sod these creeping fears It is A wondrous thing To love a body Beneath the unforgiving night To love a mind Before the certainty of time You’ve got a little more Left inside of you
2.
The city lied And you, you listened You fell in bed With all its histories And did the drink Get into you? Or you into it? You were one Among a million Among the several Other millions Who don’t know What you put into this Who don’t know What you gave up And what did I do To make matters worse? You, you left without a thing You left a light on There was little else changed in the house Though I found a fresh silence You were young, you had a choice You were young, you had a choice Do you know dear? Here the roses Here the roses Came out today Do you know dear? Here the roses Here the roses Came out today Go on, go on Show you do
3.
I turned from you beneath the winter I turned to face a sea That could swallow me And oh, oh, oh I just fell right in Limb after flailing limb Though a cradle lay upon the shore Upon the barren beach And it lay empty Oh, oh, oh Though we had kept it clean Year after year And as my feet scrabbled for some ground And as the brine rushed into my mouth I saw your hair caught on the wind But our winters, our springs They were gone I called to you But you only heard the moans Of the tumbling waves As they broke me on the stones And I dreamt that you surrounded me You picked/fished me out You showed me home Amidst your body’s rising, breaking swells I was never lost I was never alone But now I go Must I go? Upon the winds Upon the breakers Now I go Must I go? Between the toes Of the holiday makers Won’t you just hold me? Hold me Oh, hold me Oh, hold me ‘Cause you have won me You have stolen me You have laid A blessing on me Why didn’t I keep it? Why did I lose it? One more winter One more spring
4.
We meet in the same place we do twice a week Where your hair turns to straw – turned by the sea breeze And the reflection of the harbour lights Just pulls me further into your eyes Oh me, oh my But that’s barely a breeze so you make barely a sound You speak quieter now for the quiet that surrounds us And the creaks and shudders of the hulls Are all we have for company, for now And tomorrow those boats will be gone And I will wish one took us on But we’ll still wait Though you will say and say You would run You would run, run, run You would run, run, run Really? Truly? Will you run? Or will we, we still, we still Will we, we still, we still Slip like foxes to this place? You can chide me I’m an impetuous thing You can curse the slight cold Keep your hands to your sleeves I’ve told myself many, many times It’s not for your own sake that you stay behind Your father yes he’s a character And your mother still wishes he’ll marry her But you can wait a lifetime for another To want for what you do Especially a fool Oh! I want to dance you to the edge of town Beyond that cruel horizon for once for all All time Won’t you speak? They say you’re not so shy And I’ve seen them map you with their eyes And perhaps they’re just boys being boys But what they’ll privately desire They will publicly deny And I have heard too many times Of women tried for crimes It’s said they’ve provoked with the blink of an eye With the brushing of a thigh And I, I may talk a lot like the rest And in some ways I’m like the rest (I would see that blush move from your cheek down to your breast) But I’m different I’m different And there’s a wonderful life across the sea There’s a wonderful life across the sea There’s a wonderful life, a wonderful life, a wonder Just beyond me Will we, we still, we still Will we, we still, we still Stay, just growing older
5.
Don’t touch the light my love Let it lie Let it lie These are rare times And after them hides A future we can’t Quite muzzle with wine Will my hand seek yours? Will yours shy from mine? Despite how we try To pull the evening down To wrap it round us To take the hands from the clock To share what we have found To make it timeless Before the night coughs us up But time’s never yours And time’s never mine And time’s never ours And the time’s never right You say the time’s never right But where’s the joy in being So briefly alive But to share our bodies And to share our minds All I can do Is all I will do All I can do Is all I will do
6.
03:42
It’s a curious thing Always to hold The house of another Dearer than your own To be a stranger described by Four bare white walls To be a shadow, be a midwife Have so little spring from yourself But if you’d lay me down On that big bed of yours Let me creep between the cushions While your guests talk next door... ‘Cause it’s you and this house that I love And I pray for the day when with luck God’s luck You’ll rise at my side like the dust in the light Oh mercy I knew a woman once It was years ago She showed me the whole dance She let me know It’s a vicious thing is love Oh mercy Did she crumble under me? She said she did As I mumbled fumbling at her tits ‘Would you cradle, cradle me?’ Oh mercy But all those sighed encouragements Could never be enough If I was not the first How could I be the last? To touch her harsher hairs Feel her wet Oh mercy But if I knock a picture down Spoil its full beauty To one you’d squint to see One known just to me Something broken I might keep Oh mercy Oh would you cradle, cradle me? I am at the walls I’m a shriek of jealousy Loosed through your halls Before I start to tear At all that I hold dear Would you give me, give me You and this house that I want I want And I pray for my sake For your sake For our sake That a heart can be stilled And a mind may be quietened With mercy Will I ever know such mercy? Will you ever show mercy?
7.
Stay longer It’s happened again Stay longer Never take another train ‘Cause it could be you Amongst the disappeared It could be you On a list of names And it is you Who feels like family It is you Who fills the space When in the night, the night, the night Our unborn babies cry and cry If only your memory survives What’s to quiet them in that? The body I press against As we lay on our bed, our bed The flesh that I can’t defend They don’t care how it ends I don’t know I don’t know what I’ll do If you’re lost I’m lost too
8.
Long, long did I Wait for that boat to show A white fleck on the ocean But instead I watched As the storm came in stages Broken bottles on waves I’m older now And as the sea And my belly Did churn in kind A few quiet friends Took my side And I recalled that day Your sly pinch The shuffling crowd What we avowed The scattered, shy applause As thrown petals fell And we stepped out But it was rain not flowers there That I pulled through my mussed hair As the sea grew vicious And our horizon disappeared Oh where are you? What did you see? When the waves came Did you call for me? As I stood on that shore A still point in the storm As the thunder clapped As the sky collapsed I faced the sea That strange, familiar thing Still beautiful though raging It showed me an eternity It showed me an oblivion But I’ve my memories And you are borne upon them Now every time the rain begins Those petals fall down on me Those petals fall again And I, yes I I can try To love you all my life To love you all my life To love these stormy days To let the waves remake your face Though it’s always slightly changed Enough of you remains Enough of you remains Enough of you remains Broken bottles on the waves Broken bottles on the waves Broken bottles Broken bottles On the waves
9.
I watched you in that sudden rain How you laughed as it fell on you And I watched you draw your sister near How she folded right into you Take your time Oh lord Take your time Oh lord I recognise it now In the minutes In the hours Take your time Oh lord Take your time Oh lord I would see my brother laugh In that easy way that only he can laugh ‘Cause all my life, all my life I’d wait, wait, wait All my days, all my days For change, for change Take your time Oh lord Take your time Oh lord I recognise it now In the minutes In the hours Take your time Oh lord Take your time Oh lord I would see my brother laugh In that easy way that only he can laugh It is among us Without, within Autumn and summer, winter and spring I love you Michael I could burst from it The world held in your little eyes, your little eyes Is a glorious thing So take your time Oh lord
10.
Come back, come back I am gone to my seams Come back, come back I am burst I dreamt the tree came down And what you’d say still resounds Still sits cold in my brain ‘It is only the night And the night has to end’ And you would lie with me Until the day begins Begins again Cruel winds they blow Cruel winds And all the souls on that raging sea You would gather them in If you could gather them It is only the night It is only the night

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released November 7, 2011

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